America Day and Rwanda

Best day ever! So we had a self declared American day! Haha. Well today was Eid al Fitr, a Muslim holiday so everything was closed. By the way, it was funny to be a country for the first time that observed a Muslim holiday rather than the Judeo-Christian holidays. Anyways, so first of all it was an amazing commute to school considering that half the city was home so I made it class in record time. It was awesome! The city was so quiet and orderly that we didn’t know how to act. Sadly we still had class because none of are muslim but on a happy note it was just a half day. So after luganda class we were free. My friend wanted pizza and was just dying to have some so this lead to our American adventure. We went to this pizza place that was expensive by both American and Ugandan standards but we treated ourselves to some American food. Then to make it even better it was buy one get one free because Ramadan had ended so we got two pizzas which was icing on our cake! So we killed both pizzas and we were in heaven! It tasted just like home! This is quite impressive considering that most people in this country have never even had pizza let alone tasted cheese before. (side story: they were showing some people making pizza on tv and my family had no idea what it was or what the white stuff was that was dripping from it was…the cheese. Cheese is like a delicacy here. Haha). so we were so happy and our hope was renewed! Hahaha. For once we did not have matooke (the staple food here…mashed plantains that they eat with EVERY meal), or beans or some other starchy food ie posho (some kind of porridge-grits look alike made of flour and water) or rice.
But considering that the day was still quite young and the city was amazingly empty because of the holiday we decided to try and find the mall. A few years ago Uganda got their first indoor mall, which I believe is the only one in East Africa. Of course though its not a place the locals frequent considering the prices and status of the place. But of course, after our pizza we couldn’t stop there, so we started trying to find this place that we had heard so much about. We had no idea how to get there and no taxis were going there so we walked. After a bit we saw the heavenly entrance into our American oasis. We went in there and freaked out! It was hilarious!! You would’ve thought that we’d never seen a mall before the way we were acting. Of course I went tourist and whipped out the camera. This western oasis had toe be documented! So we went in and the first store we see is like our Target or something. We went in there and flipped out! They had everything that I ever dreamed of!! Haha. deli meats (compared to the pieces of meat that were alive 2 hours before hanging from doorways), a produce section (with lettuce that I haven’t seen since being here), bakery, bbq sauce (which I almost bought to hook up some meals I have at home), appliances (washers and big screen tvs that I miss especially on wkends) and everything else that we have at target. All of my cosmetics, toiletries, snacks and the store was bigger than my bedroom which is a first! Haha. so we’re frolicking up and down every aisle, amazed at every product. You woiuld never guess that we used o go to such places every week back home. They prob thought we were locals that had never made it out of the village and this was just the first store that we went in. so we worked our way through the whole mall. It was amazing. I actually forgot that I was in Uganda! This place has a movie theater (didn’t know any movies there but that’s okay) and my fave part was AlleyGators. This place was like Dave and Busters and more. They have a bowling alley, arcade, ice skating rink (of some ice wanna be that isn’t even cold…haha), and my favorite….karaoke!! I fell in love instantly! But we were just scouting out so we didn’t spend too much time there but I will be going back!! It was funny to be around so many whites and non-Ugandans again. I never see them around town but its like they are all hiding there. For once we didn’t try to cover up our American accents and just frolicked around. It was like a reunion of all the non-Ugandans!! By the time we finally left I had legit forgotten what country I was in, until we walked out and my friend was like “back to reality”. But at this point we were on cloud 9 until we had to get back into Ugandan mode after a taxi almost hit us. Yup, back to reality! Haha. but we prob won’t go too often because we are in Uganda after all but it is our “happy place.” The actual shops at the mall weren’t even all that amazing but just because they were here made them extraordinary!! Go America day!
Oh yeah, so back to last week. Since last week I’ve been to western Uganda and Rwanda. It was so beautiful! The ride, of course, felt like forever, but it was at least a scenic ride! We passed through these small towns that looked they were straight out of a western movie, and then there was the countryside which was just beautiful. It would be hilarious when we drove through these small towns because all the people especially the children would scream and wave to us. Of course this wasn’t for me but for the 25 other whites that they see once a year and are amazed with. Haha. so its like we are in a parade as we just wave to all these kids. At one point, we had gone to visit a Millennium Village Project and traditional medicine village and when we left the kids prob at least a mile behind our vans just waving and screaming to us. It was hilarious! I honestly don’t know how they ran like that! It was just like a scene from a movie as hoards of children just ran behind our vans and they just kept appearing. We were local celebs! I was just exploiting the poor things and taking pics and dying laughing! Haha. I could tell so many stories on all of the random moments of the road trip but im sure you don’t wanna read all that. So moving on, finally we arrived in Rwanda. It was a whole new world! There were WORKING flash lights, people driving like humans, medians, landscaping, it was just beautiful and so much more developed. Considering their recent history, I couldn’t believe how nice it was! But that next day once again reality struck.
We went to the Genocide memorial and of course it was so somber. As beautiful as the country was, there was still large “creep” factor to it. Every place I saw I also visualized slaughtered Tutsis strewn across and every person I saw that was over 20 years of age I knew had somehow been involved or directly affected by the genocide. The first memorial site we went to was a mass burial as well as an amazing museum. It told the history of the genocide, the key players (both good and bad), the victims, and of the other genocides that have happened. I didn’t even realize that so many genocides had taken place. The ones that always come to mind are the Holocaust and Rwanda which leave out many others like Armenia, Cambodia, the Balkans (which just happened) and so many others that just don’t make headlines. It was sad and shocking reality to see that as much as the global community vows to not let such a thing happen again, we keep turning our eyes when one occurs (ie Darfur and Burma now). Arggh, it is so frustrating. We saw all of this and were so sad that such a thing even happened and lasted so long and yet feel so hopeless about stopping those that are in progress now.
So after this site we had an even crazier experience. We went to the prison where many genocide killers (both men and women) were jailed. Oh my gosh, boy oh boy did I have to think of the parables that Jesus told as we spoke to these killers. I wanted to just kill them myself for all they did and yet wore all my Christian paraphernalia reminding of the life that ive committed to living. But it was hard to think that these people were seeking forgiveness. They told us their stories and how they were involved and it was hard to even place an emotion with the event. There was sadness 4 all the victims, anger at these murderers, remorse from them, guilt that the western world and other countries let it happen and just tons of questions. The people looked so human once again and even admitted themselves that they had just been brainwashed and were in an animalistic mindset. But I still cant fathom how they did such things. It wasn’t just that they killed but they did their best to make sure the people didn’t have an easy death and for the few survivors made sure that their future wouldn’t be much better. So they are apologizing and talking about how they are sorry for what they did, etc but it was just crazy! Then even when they finished talking I couldn’t clap for them. it was like I wanted to out of habit but my mind was just In recess. So finally our time with them was up and it got even more challenging. They asked to take a picture with us. I guess it’s part of their rehab and reconciliation efforts or whatever but it was just like who wants to have a picture with these people. like that’s a pic that im dying to put on facebook…ill just tag them “spawns of Satan that killed every person that wasn’t killing alongside them”. so when moving for cameras we remembered that we had left our cameras at security…yay!...avoided that awkward situation. Not!! All of a sudden, a few people pull out cameras and say they didn’t have to turn theirs in. so now here we are, the American students and the genocide killers who are seeking forgiveness and want our “approval” of their remorse. So we gather with them and pose. But I def forgot who I was taking pix with. I was in the front row of the pic with some friends just cheesing away. I totally forgot who was in the picture and just smiled out of habit. So here I am on the front row with this big and pretty smile and yet a few people being me are serial killers. It was so troubling when it was over. Once reality snapped back, I was like “what just happened”, did we really just take a pic with them, and did I really just smile like it was all good?! Arggh!! It was so troubling! I felt so guilty and yet felt like I should be okay with forgiving them but just couldn’t and they didn’t even do anything that affected me or my family. Then I thought I was troubled, Come to find out others faced even bigger dilemmas. One lady asked one of my friends to be her pen pal and wanted to write her, another wanted to take a personal “happy go lucky pic” with one of us, another just wanted to chat. In one sense they were nice people, I mean if I didn’t know their stories, it would’ve been totally fine but of course we were all so jaded! Finally we left and we all questioned everything about our day. At lunch I found out that our translators that are college students and our age had even bigger problems.
One of them, Pearl, which is just an amazing person, was affected more than we guessed. Her dad had been killed in the genocide and here she is translating for the people that killed her dad. She said it was hard for her but while she was there, I would’ve never guessed b/c she kept it so together! So then after lunch we went to a church. This church had been a sanctuary for many Tutsis fleeing the rebels. In the previous genocide attempts the churches were respected by the killers and those that took refuge there were safe but we all that didn’t happen this past time. So this church is more than a church but also a mass grave. 10,000 people has sought refuge here and then on a fateful day in April evil struck the hearts of the hutus and they wiped out the church. 3/10000 survived. So we walk in this church and its just heavy with emotion. They left the clothes of the victims all over the church and at first glance it looked like people were inside. So we walk in and I can’t even cry. Others are tearing up by I was just in shock that I was just emotionless. So we walk around and look around the church. There’s a blood stained cloth on the altar with a blood splattered Mary. We walked down these stairs to find the first and smallest mass grave. There are skulls, bones a casket and some of the belongings of the victims. Then I go outside to walk around and it def was no better. So our translator was outside with my friend, who was crying and when she saw me coming she grabbed me to show me something. So we go to this opening in the ground and it was mass grave. I go in and it’s a large room that’s about 13 feet tall and really long. It’s just piles and piles of bones. All the skulls were in a section, all the leg bones, etc. it was surreal. There was a narrow walkway and other than everything thing was reminiscent of death. To see all the clothes was one thing but then to see all these bones was another. I was able disconnect it a little up until this point but now it was all just there. Once again, I was just emotionless. I wanted to cry because I felt like that was the only appropriate emotion but I couldn’t. I was just there. Everyone around me was tearing up but it just wasn’t happening for me. oh yeah, and remember the translator, Amanda who took me to the grave, the first thing she says when I see it is “my parents are here” but she said it with a surprising cheerfulness. Like I thought she’d be the one bawling her eyes out but she totally was the pillar. So considering her circumstance, I def couldn’t cry especially since she wasn’t crying. But it was so surreal too. While standing outside the grave, you just hear the voices of nearby children. There was a school up the road so while we were surrounded by death you hear the sounds like life. You heard laughter and children playing and it was just like out of the closing scene of a movie…life went on.
On a lighter note, like I said before the city of Kigali is really developed. I guess to try and not erase the past but make it more bearable, a lot has changed. The slums and poor areas are still crappy but the town center is pretty impressive. I even saw a lawn mower but of course it was at the US embassy, so don’t know how much that counts. But sadly we left the next day so many of my questions on life in Rwanda were left unanswered. I would’ve loved to just meet people and hear their stories. Its so crazy to think that unlike the other mass killings that we’ve learned about in school, this one was nationwide and affected every area across the country. Not just a massacre in a village or a killing in town, but this plague of death hit every household as neighbors and friends turned on each other. Its amazing though how they are trying to make amends. They have the Gacaca courts (go look it up if you don’t know what im talking about). But for the most part it allows the killers to come forward out of their niches n society, where they’ve been going unnoticed, and apologize to their victim’s family and attempt to reconcile. And believe it or not, there’s no death penalty there either so they are really making an effort to end the cycle of killing while still trying to enforce justice.
But okay on a happier note, my little brother did go off to school and the dad never did ask me about money again so its been cool. I really like the family and im getting to know and more of them as they come by and visit. I don’t know about leaving this area now because im going to miss everyone in the neighborhood and my family. If I leave in two weeks and go else where for my practicum I will not see them again til the day before I leave. So I don’t know now…
Anyways for a good laugh…so my family has unwanted pets if you catch my drift. So once we all leave the kitchen mickey and his family come out for their feast, so ive learned to not go in the kitchen after its been empty for a while. This strategy allows us to peacefully coexist. Well now that my “sister” is gone I have to prepare my own bath water. But to get the hot water for my basin bath (haha) I have to go in the kitchen to get my water off the charcoal stove. Well the last two nights, ive attempted to boycott my bath because I was scared to go in the kitchen because our bold pets don’t make a silent exit but make it apparent that they were there. So last night I just took a cold wash off, not even bath b/c I was not going in that kitchen and to top it off I saw a cockroach which is my other archnemesus so i was just too through. Then tonight I went in the kitchen preparing to be bold and make noise to scare them off but they were not checking and moved too slow for me so I was like forget it, another cold wash off tonight. But then thankfully I conned my “mom” into going into the kitchen so she did the leg work for me which of course doesn’t even phase them. my cousin was like “just go in there, theyre not going to eat you”, which of course was true but didn’t help much at the time. Haha.
Then my lil bro who’s a lil over one year is all over the place. But here diapers are heavy duty and washable and just used on outings so in my house the baby runs around free as he wants. So when he has to pee, he just does. The first time I saw him peeing, he just stood there and pee’d. Then to make it worse, my fam just laughed it off and there was no concept or effort made to disinfect and clean. They threw a rag on the floor and that was the end. Then today he peed on the carpet so the carpet did all the absorbing, eliminating the need for a rag, so that was the end of that problem. So I have this lil one year old (who happens to be so cute I must say) peeing all over the house and leaving a wonderful scent everywhere he marks his territory. On a better note, he doesn’t pee on people, so we are still on cool terms., long as he doesn’t pee on the floor in my room. Haha
Last thing, I promise, so on Sunday more fam came by the house and after they find out im black American their next question is always where did my fam come from b4 slavery. Of course, I have no idea which boggles their mind of how I don’t know where Im from. So lately for simplicity, I just say im distantly from Liberia. Its worked so well and eliminates the extra drama. Well my story is actually that im Liberian but been raised in the USA. So once they don’t think im American I don’t have to worry as much as them asking me for helping them to achieve their American dreams. So its been cool. But of course, I only use this line outside my house b/c my homestay fam knows the truth. So they were trying to “help” me trace my roots and FYI according to them I look like I could be from the Bantu tribe of East Africa and according to my friend in Rwanda I look like I could be from Ghana. So with all that being said, I guess the great mystery has been solved family. Take your pick of which you want to be of Ghanaian or bantu ancestry. Hahaha. Take that Oprah!... no need to pay all that money to have ur DNA sequenced, just move to Africa and let the locals do all the work for free! hahahahahaha
By the way, so sorry if youve tried to call me. My phone and i have technical difficulties at times so plz try again if u miss me the first time. :-)